I had a dream last night where I was a single dad and I had a seventeen year old son, and he was like “Dad, you need to do something for yourself and go out and date.”
To which I responded “Listen, I know I’m pure sunshine and an absolute delight, but you are a handful…you’re kind of a lot for someone to take on full time.”
Well, at least I’m like cheese…I get sassier when I age…
I was watching an old episode of Gilmore Girls where Rory gets into an accident and has to go to the hospital. When Lorelai rushes there to see her, she asks the doctor in the waiting room where Rory is, and when the doctor tells her to wait, Lorelai responds with “Hey, do you remember in Terms of Endearment that scene where Shirley MacLaine is in the hospital and freaks out because they won’t give her daughter a shot? She got that from me and she toned it down a little.” I’ve always thought that was a clever line and thought if I’m ever in that position in a hospital I was going to recite it just like her.
Except, I’ve never seen Terms of Endearment, so I don’t know what scene she’s talking about. And I can just see me reciting Lorelai’s line to a nurse in a hospital and the nurse not reacting and still being like “well, wait still.” Then I’d actually have to freak out like Shirley MacLaine. So, I looked up the clip on YouTube to prep myself, and embedded it below…now I have a desire to run through a hospital waiting room shrieking “GIVE MY DAUGHTER THE SHOT!!!!”
My mom: What are you doing today?
Me: I’m planning on making cupcakes for Harry Potter’s birthday before going to work.
[Three hours later]
My mom: I thought you were going to make cupcakes for Harry Potter’s birthday.
Me: Well…I was, but then I thought the oven would heat up the whole house and the house is already at nice temperature…I mean, why ruin that, right?
[My mom just stares ate me.]
Me: Okay, so we’re out of cupcake liners…and I didn’t want to go to the store…