Category Archives: StoryTime

Personal Experience, StoryTime

Trip

I started playing violin when I was five years old.  There was a tradition in my town where all the students would come together and perform a concert.  The most advanced student would perform a solo, then the next advanced would join them and they’d play a duet, and so on until everyone was on stage.  To top it all, every song had to memorized, making it a rather difficult competition (if you were up first, you had a lot of songs to remember).  When I was about seven or eight, I decided I wanted to be number one.  So I practiced and practiced.  And I didn’t get it, but I was like number two or three…I was really high up.  To say the least, I was pretty excited.

There I was the night of the concert, waiting for the soloist to finish to join her on stage to play our duet.  I waited, my teacher introduced me, and I made my way to the steps to the stage.  And I promptly tripped and fell.  My violin shot out of my arms and shattered. In front of the whole friggin town.

giphy

My teacher ran up to me to make sure I was okay, and I very clearly remember her telling me I could sit the concert out.  I just stared at her on the verge of bursting into tears and said “No, but I don’t have a violin.”  She handed me her violin and I played the concert.

giphy-1

Flash forward thirteen or so years to my senior of high school.  In that time I had started playing the cello, guitar, and dabbled in piano.  My teacher back then was (and I think still is) the orchestra conductor for the elementary, middle, and high school…basically I studied with her for thirteen years.  It was the night of our last orchestra concert before I was graduating and going to college.  Our orchestra was making our way up on to the stage and she was sitting back stage collecting herself (she gave a rather emotional speech when she introduced us…she was losing a lot of students who she knew since a really young age).  I was last in line, carrying my cello.  Just as I was walking up the stairs, I tripped just like so many years ago.  This time, however, she caught me.  She  then chuckled and said “careful, you wouldn’t want to trip.”

It’s just funny that my whole music career with her basically started and ended with a trip.

 

StoryTime

Roses, Candy, and Notecards

Sometimes when I’m in the grocery store, waiting to check out, I like to see what other people are buying and try to figure out what they’re making.  It’s fun for me to take random objects and create a whole back story of a character.

Like, for instance, when I was in the grocery store…today, I was in the express lane to check out a couple items I forgot to pick up the last time I was there and there was this guy in front of me buying a bouquet of roses, Sour Patch kids, and notecards.

Naturally my brain started whizzing, crafting a story on the spot.  Immediately a love story came to mind: he was going on a date with someone he really had a crush on.  Like a huge one.  He met them at school and was nervous to ask them out so he pined away for them.  Then, finally, as the semester (he was of college age) came to an end, his crush asked him out to the movies.  So, he ran to the store to pick up candy and wanted them to know they were special, so he got the roses too.  But because he was still nervous about the date he picked up a pack of notecards.  This way he could come up with conversation starters and practice/study for his date so things would go over smoothly…

Again, I have no idea if that’s true, but it was just a story line I thought up whilst trying to purchase my groceries and I thought it was fun, so I decided to share.  So, if that guy is going on a date – which, for all I know he was just picking up study items (notecards and candy) and he likes roses and they were on sale – best of luck to him!

Phillip's Opinion, StoryTime

Welsh Towns

I saw a video on YouTube where they had Americans try to pronounce the names of towns in Walsh, their reactions to Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch were pretty spot on to how I’d feel if I tried pronouncing it

So, naturally, after watching the video I googled Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch to see if it was a real town (it is) and how to pronounce it.  The results came up with this video of a weatherman perfectly pronouncing it during a forecast:

At first I was all impressed that he managed to keep his composure and nail that difficult town name.  But then, I started thinking…he’s the weatherman, right?  He’s in charge of what names he could put on the map.  I mean, in this short clip, he was trying to demonstrate that two parts of Wales were completely different in temperature, why couldn’t he choose a town near Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch that had similar temperatures but was a lot shorter (and easier) to pronounce?  And, he didn’t mention the town that was 12 degrees, did he?

Just putting that out there.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to try to learn how to pronounce Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch so I can one day visit Wales and hail and cab to take me there…

 

P.S. The original name of this post was "Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch" but it was actually so long it didn't fit into title....
Personal Experience, StoryTime

A Different Kind of Turtle

Growing up, my mom would take me to the library a lot.  She had this huge bag and would bring us into the Children’s room and let my siblings and I fill up the bag with any books we wanted.  Needless to say, growing up in libraries has made me a man who frequents his local library…a lot.

A couple years ago, my library got a pet turtle for their Children’s room.  When they originally got him, they read that his type of turtle prefers to eat lettuce, snails, and little fish, which they added to the tank.  Except our turtle won’t eat the snails or the fish, just the lettuce.  In fact, the fish got so big, the librarians had to give it away as a pet to someone because it was getting too big for the tank (I learned that they eventually released the fish back into the wild).

On top of that, he’s grown accustom to rearranging his tank.  At first, we weren’t sure what was happening.  The books said to put a dock in the corner of  the tank for him to climb up on and bask under a lamp.  Over time, we’d notice the dock would slightly drift away from the corner.  Each time the dock moved, the librarians would put it back right under the lamp because it was “supposed to be” that way.  One time, I thought he went missing, but I found him squished in between the glass and the dock, pushing it away.

Then, the other day, they had a new lamp which seemed to have a lower wattage, and I saw the turtle laying on his dock with the expression that just said “everything is finally right in the world.”

Personal Experience, StoryTime

They’re Finding Nemo (Literally)

I was out the other night, running a simple errand, when I drove past a big sign that caught my attention.  It was announcing that a family had lost their cat and they were looking for him.  I then noticed his name is Nemo.

I took notice of the picture of the cat in case I saw him, and went on my way.  Then it occurred to me that the family was looking for Nemo.  They were, quite literally, finding Nemo (like the 2003 animated movie Finding Nemo).

Hopefully the find him soon!

Personal Experience, StoryTime

You Can Have Nice Things

So I was outside today, basking in the warm spring air when I realized that I haven’t posted in like a week.  I’ve been spending a lot of my time outside biking.  My siblings surprised me a couple weeks ago by getting me this amazing new road bike which has been so amazing.  My old bike was a mountain bike I bought when I was thirteen after saving money up from my paper route.  But that bike was so worn out; it would squeak, click, clang, make any sound that a bike shouldn’t make.  And I really realized it when I was test riding bikes  because the new bikes were just so amazing (by the way, if you want to kill some time, you should totally go to REI and test ride bikes…it’s so much fun, but you may end up leaving with a rather expensive bike).

I got this new bike about two weeks ago, and the ride was as smooth as butter.  I was in heaven.  The first week in, the pedal breaks.  Now, the road bikes tend not to come with pedals.  A total scam, but it kind of makes sense…people who tend to ride those intense bikes have their preference in pedals…although why they can’t throw in a choice of pedal for the ridiculous asking price for the bike, I don’t know.  Anyway, the lady who helped us at the store told me I could just put on the pedals from my old mountain bike.  A solid theory, except the bike is like ten years old with ten year old pedals that are just as worn out as the bike…so naturally, one breaks from age and use.   So, I go back to the bike shop to buy pedals.  Another week passes, and now my fancy, beautiful road bike has started squawking at me.  I’ve treated this bike that it was my baby: I bathed it, I dried it, I kept it in a very safe spot out of harms way.  It should not be squawking at me.

So  I attended a bike maintenance class a REI, and I learned a lot about taking care of my chain and tires.  The guy who taught the class even said “if you’re bike is squawking at you, it means you need to clean and lubricate your chain.”  So I buy the special degreaser and lube (notice how they have me going back to buy more stuff), and I clean my chain just like he taught me to.  It still squawks.  I’m at the point where I seriously don’t think I can have nice things.

On a whim, I googled this problem.  I mean, this is a ridiculously expensive bike, it should not be making irritating sounds, especially since it’s brand spanking new.  I find a bike forum where another rider is experiencing a similar problem.  He explains how his gears seemed to be making a clanking/clicking sound (like mine) and how he was told by the manufacturer to take the bike’s gears a part and degrease and lube them up.  So he did all that, like I did, and still the bike would click.

So, I’m scrolling through these posts and I find the solution to my answers (I think).  Someone made a very simple post that basically said that squeaks or clicks from bikes have to come from somewhere, and the sound is usually produced when something isn’t tightly secured.  In particular, the pedals and the metal arms that the pedals screw into tend to make irritating clicking sounds when not properly tightened.  This person was suggesting to go back and tighten up the pedals.

Now, let’s go back and think of what changed between the time when the bike was perfect and riding like butter and then when it started squeaking.  Yup, I changed the pedals.  So I went to my bike, I unscrewed the pedal and took my time putting it back in.  I made sure it was fastened tightly, and I took a little test spin around the block.  No squeak, no squawk, no click, no clang.  I mean, I have to take it out for a real ride to see if I fixed the problem, but it turns you can have nice things…you just have to slow down and fix the problem one step at a time.

Personal Experience, StoryTime

Throwback Thursday

The problem I have with Throwback Thursdays (#tbt) is that I can never think of anything on Thursday to share.  My mind goes blank.  Then, on Friday, I’m walking down memory lane and have a bajillion stories and pictures to share.  But, you can’t have a Throwback Thursday on Friday, it wouldn’t make sense (although, you could try to do a “Flashback Friday,” but that’s not a thing, is it?).

But, today I finally thought of a story, and there are two and a half hours left of this Thursday, so technically I can squeeze it in.

So, I used to work for this place where at the end of the semester we would have a “reading party,” where we would come together and each read something to the group.  We all were into reading and writing, so this wasn’t as boring as it might sound.  Usually people read a  poem, story, songs lyrics, or anything that meant something to them or inspired them as writers.  It was a great notion of coming together and enjoying good writing.

At the last reading party I attended, we had a wide variety of things read.  Someone read How the Grinch Stole Christmas (the party happened to be the week before Christmas), another person read an original story they wrote, another read a short story a teacher wrote about his students’ bad grammar, etc.  So we’re going around, and it was one of my friends’ turn to go.  She opens her book, looks flustered, and blushes.  She had intended to bring an old book of poetry her grandparents gave her and read her favorite poem, but somehow she grabbed an identical-looking book that did not have poems in it.  Instead, it was a technical manual on sailing.  So, she opened the book to Chapter Fifteen, and spent ten minutes reading random nautical terms and techniques.  I’m telling you, it was the most hysterical thing to witness.  There we were trying to not laugh as she struggled through reading this jargon none of us understood.  This may not be funny to you, but I like the fact that instead of just skipping  her turn (which was a totally viable thing to do), she continued to read utter nonsense.  It was great.

Anyway, #tbt…

Phillip's Opinion, StoryTime

Building a Time Machine: The Big Bang Theory’s $1 Million Raise

I just had a fantastic idea.  So I’m going to build a time machine and go back about seven years to 2007 when they were creating The Big Bang Theory and get myself cast as either Leonard or Sheldon (or perhaps Penny…although, that may be a bit harder to pull off).

I know that sounds crazy and stupid, but the three main leads of The Big Bang Theory (Jim Parsons, who plays Sheldon, Johnny Galecki, who plays Leonard, and Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting, who plays Penny) all signed a three year contract with CBS (so they’re making three more seasons of The Big Bang Theory!!!!!) and got raises to about $1 million per episode.  Given the fact they make twenty-four episodes per season, that’s $24 million a year… $72 million for three years (if you don’t trust my math, I could show my work….).  Granted, the cast do have their work cut out for them…they all play incredible smart scientists, and the cast always joke around that they have no idea what they’re actually saying.  God knows Jim Parsons really has his work cut out from him, memorizing all of Sheldon’s jargon (see below for examples).  But seriously, I’d be willing to learn the periodic table of elements and sing it in front of a group of people if it got me a job that paid me roughly $1 million a week.

I mean, I’m not shallow and I don’t have a desire to be rich…it’s just I’ve been a broke college kid for the past four years.  Given the fact I just emptied all my savings last week to pay my last tuition bill and I have like twenty dollars to my name, I dream of a world where money is actually something I have.  Like, wouldn’t it be nice to not have to work six days a week and scrimp and save?  Ah….the joy…

It would be so easy to say that I work harder than Parsons, Galecki, or Cuoco-Sweeting, and yet I make like a hundred bucks a week as opposed to their million.  Sure, I work two jobs and go to school full time; I’m up before seven a.m. and home at around midnight (during the school year).  But for some reason I don’t see life like that.  I don’t think I can say what is fair or just.  I don’t know what it’s like to work on The Big Bang Theory, so I can’t decree that I work harder than any of them or that they don’t deserve their salaries.  All I think I know is that where we go in life and our earnings is, hopefully, in direct relation to our motivation and determination, which God knows I have in spades.  So maybe I will have my $1 million a week days…perhaps I need a time machine to fast forward to that time.

Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock.  Jim Parsons said this scene took the most amount of takes to get right…

Sheldon (Jim Parsons) singing the element song…imagine memorizing the whole periodic table of elements and then singing it to a crowd?

 

Phillip's Opinion, StoryTime

Twitter, Let Us #Edit!

Okay, I just have to say that Twitter should allow you to edit your tweets so that you don’t have to delete said tweet and start all over again.  I mean, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tweeted something, got someone to favorite it, then realize that I either made a grammar mistake or had a fantastic idea to make the tweet even more hilarious.  So what do I do?  Delete it, lose the favorite, and tweet out a revised version, OR do I just live with the mistake?

So, I just wanted to put it out there that Twitter should let you #edit.

#justsaying

StoryTime

Iggy Iggs is the Realest

You guys, I just bought my first rap album!!!

So I tell this to my friend, and she goes “which one?”

And I’m like, “Iggy Azalea!” so proud that I actually own a rap album…feeling like I’ve grown so much.

And she goes “ugh, she’s so fake.”

Me: Um, she’s the realest, like get over yourself.

So, there.