Hiding My Heart Away

Have you ever heard the song “Hiding My Heart” by Brandi Carlile, which was later covered by Adele?  My guess is not, given the fact that it was a hidden track on Carlile’s album The Story, and was a left over track from Adele’s 21.  I only found out about it because I got an extended version of Adele’s 21 that had “Hiding My Heart” on it (and that wasn’t easy to find).  Both versions are phenomenal and just beautiful in their own unique way, and it really brings to question why both these artists and their respective teams decided not to include them on the albums and make them singles.

The thing I really love about this song is the chorus:

“I wish I could lay down beside you
When the day is done
And wake up to your face against the morning sun
But like everything I’ve ever known
You’ll disappear one day
So I’ll spend my whole life hiding my heart away.”

Those words strike something within me.  I think it’s because it describes how I feel about my life.  I do have a tendency to want things, dream of things, but just kind of hide myself away and not tell people anything.  I’m a pretty goofy, free person, but I’m not really that open around many people.

Recently I realized that this is because I’m afraid.  I’m scared that if I even attempt to live my dreams or be myself, I will somehow fail.  I’m afraid of what people will say about me and I’m afraid of just being alone…for the rest of my life.  But I don’t want to be a person who didn’t do something because he was afraid.  I don’t want to live my life scared to try new things or be myself.  And as Adele sings at the end of the song, “I can’t spend my whole life hiding my heart away” (I don’t think this line is in Brandi Carlile’s version).  So every time I feel a bit down, and feel nervous, I listen to this song and just remember that line.

Brandi Carlile’s version of “Hiding My Heart.”

 

Adele’s cover of “Hiding My Heart.”